A Culture of Entitlement
I wrote last week about how in the Philippines there is little consideration and little appreciation. But if these qualities are missing from a culture, what replaces them?
Entitlement.
If you are entitled to something, there is no need to feel appreciation for it. For example, ordinarily, if someone gives you money, you would be grateful and appreciative. But if you feel entitled to that money, then you also feel as if you need not be grateful for it. Or more bluntly, if they owe you the money, then of course, no need to be appreciative.
So, if you have a family member, working overseas for slave wages, and they send you money...are you grateful for it or entitled to it? What if it is an adult child sending money to his or her parents? Does the child owe his parents? In Asia, the answer is usually yes. Okay, we are not in Kansas anymore.
So the parents may very well feel entitled to that money. What about other family members? Well in the Philippines there is actually a law that you must help immediate family with their financial necessities. You may not have to buy them a car, but they might expect you to help pay for their children's schooling. So they are also entitled.
Yes, entitlement is such a large aspect of Filipino culture that they have enshrined it in the law. Your family is entitled to the benefits of your labor. Question in passing: What does that make you?
Well in the Philippines, they have a name for that. The breadwinner.
And this labor need not be overseas. If you work in any capacity, in the Philippines or overseas, and especially if you have a "good job," then yes, your family feels entitled to the benefits of your labor. And God help you if you start a successful business. It's worth noting that, regardless of the reality, many businesses appear successful from the outside. So you will pay.
We in the West would call this charity. And the receivers of such charity might feel shame for taking it. But entitlement wipes away all shame. It is forced charity and there is no shame. It is breadwinner culture and there seems to be no incentive to join you as such. And if you are "providing" why should they provide for themselves? If there is any shame involved, it can only be the breadwinner's shame for not providing.
Now misguided family dynamics are one thing. But this family entitlement then permeates through the entire culture. Entitlement becomes part of every aspect of Filipino life. It is this pervasive sense of entitlement that leads to the lack of consideration.
People are entitled to misbehave. They use their smartphones, without earbuds, in public. They drive without a license, breaking traffic laws, without fear of any repercussions. They happily skip ahead of you in line. If the clown next door is loudly playing karaoke late on a school night, well he's entitled. They'll join you for lunch or dinner, but stay on their smartphone the whole time. Why are they so rude? It's entitlement.
Filipino time, though widely accepted as a cultural idiosyncrasy, is a clear lack of consideration. Entitlement. I've written about chronic lateness before. The Filipino skin tax? They are not grateful for my business; rather they are entitled to overcharge me. With no shame.
I would argue that it is the entitlement mentality that is the genesis for the lack of appreciation and consideration. They don't appreciate, they are owed and thus entitled. They have little consideration, they are entitled to do as they please.