What type of American man comes to the Philippines?
I used to eat lunch in a small Filipino-American cafe. Everyday, for years. It was owned by a Filipina-American who became a friend of mine. She had quite a few Filipina girlfriends who would also frequent the place. Pretty ladies, all married to American men. The owner had met her husband when he served in the Philippines in the US military (I forget the branch). This was also true for some of the other Filipinas. But a good number of them had done the penpal, and later internet dating, thing to meet their husbands.
At some point, the future husband had traveled to the Philippines and returned home with his bride or bride-to-be. Well over time, I also met a number of the husbands. Like I said, I ate lunch in this place for years. I don't remember any of the husbands specifically; they were all pretty unremarkable. But I can tell you that, and this was only my personal sense, they were all a bit awkward, socially awkward. No big deal, and at the time, I did not give it any thought whatsoever.
After a few years, one of these ladies introduced me to one of her single Filipina girlfriends. I'll skip the details, but ten years later, this gal, now my wife, and I, moved to the Philippines.
There's a lot to notice living in a foreign country. I've written here about some of it. But one thing I noticed for sure was other Americans. All men. They do stand out here. Why? It's not what you might imagine.
There is something odd about these men. All of them. Let me give you the rundown of the typical American man in the Philippines:
- He is socially awkward. This is the primary characteristic of these men.
- He is not handsome, certainly not in any western sense.
- He is not financially successful.
- He is low status, socially. Broadly speaking (job, education, family, background, etc.)
- He could not find a wife in the US, or his wife left him. Basically American women did not want him.
Yet here, these same guys can find a well-above-average looking (by American standards) wife who is kind and loyal. She is most often younger than the man, sometimes quite a bit younger, and occasionally obscenely younger. The poor Filipinas don't know any better. I am not saying they're stupid; they just have no basis of comparison. That's why the men come here. They don't have to compete with above average American men. They don't even have to compete with average American men. Some of these guys will return to the states with their brides. But a good number of them stay here.
Look, none of the above make him a bad guy. I'm not saying that. But this is such a noticeable reality that there's no sense in denying it. And there's so many of them. Yet needless to say, nobody talks about this.
Sure, sure, this cannot apply to all American men in the Philippines, right? Well when I meet one who does not fall into this stereotype, I'll let you know.