Divorced

I am an American.  In the sixties and seventies, I was the ugly American.  Today, I am the divorced American.

Of course this starts with my marital status:  I am divorced.  My ex-wife and I have two children.  She has remarried.  I am currently engaged to a divorcée with two children of her own.  So, I will live with another man’s children while yet another man lives with mine.

I was raised Catholic.  But the Catholic church will not acknowledge my divorce and second marriage.  So, I have divorced my church as well.  My fiancé was raised Baptist.  But when she married her first husband, who is Jewish, she had to convert to Judaism for the sake of her then-future children.  Today, her children are Jewish and she has now divorced two faiths.

My father worked for one company for his entire career.  I have worked for five already.  I divorced three of these, one divorced me, and one simply collapsed.  Today, I am self-employed.

Ten years ago, I divorced my political party.  Previously, I had been loyal to it since I became old enough to vote.  But, like most Americans, I am a political moderate, fiscally conservative, socially liberal.  What party represents me?

I grew up in Massachusetts and lived there after college.  Admittedly, the cost of living there was always high.  But eventually, I divorced my home state.  The cost of living, taxes, and unions drove me to start my own business in another state.

This year, I divorced my newspaper.  What passes for journalism these days is embarrassing.  And besides, I can get more news from a greater variety of sources online, generally for free.  And if any one of them goes astray, I will divorce them as well.

After buying American-made automobiles my entire life, I have just divorced Detroit.  My new car is also made in America, but it carries a foreign nameplate and any profit made by the manufacturer benefits a foreign stock market.  But then again, our own stock market divorced me in 2008.

I also recently divorced Microsoft.  After paying Mr. Gates and crew for 25 years for a deficient product, I just bought a Macintosh.  I feel better already.

And as divorce goes, I am not even average.  Many Americans have become totally divorced from the world around them.  Sure, we have all quit taking the newspaper.  But many of us have replaced it, not with other news outlets, but rather, with Comedy Central.  Oprah has become the new Walter Cronkite.  And Americans are more interested in Britney and Paris and football and basketball, than in the real issues of the day.  In short, they have divorced reality.

Even well read Americans seem to have divorced themselves from the ability to think about what they read.  If Thomas Friedman writes it and the New York Times prints it, well then, it must be true.  In their desire to avoid the perception of being judgmental, our post-modern intellectual classes have decided to divorce themselves from good judgment.

I am an American, and, like you, I am divorced.

So as not to be confused with James Frey, this essay is observational, not autobiographical.

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On those Pharma Ads

Protectasil (Gardasil) Drug Ad Parody

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PostSecret

On education and love


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David Mamet: No Longer Brain-Dead Liberal

From The Village Voice:

David Mamet:  Why I Am No Longer a Brain-Dead Liberal

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Kanjana's Heart

Across a distant sea
In an ancient land of karma and fate
A wealthy man has purchased
A living work of modern art
Haunting and sensual
The Golden Heart of Peace and Joy

While she offers him her beauty
He disregards her soul
He can penetrate her surface
But not her golden core
She is mere fruit of karma
Which surely he deserves

For hidden beneath the pretense
And her carnal acquiescence
The callous indifference of destiny
So locked in a vault sealed by fate
Guarded by her confidants
Neglect and Suffering

Kanjana safely secures
Her fragile heart
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Hans Rosling on Global Development

From TED

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The Freedom of Europe

First, we are born in a government-provided healthcare facility.  Then, we receive a government-provided education, followed by some sort of national service, for the greater good of course.

Afterwards, a government-provided job in healthcare or education or auto-manufacturing or banking.  And, for the brightest among us, public service itself.  Perhaps a nice regulatory or planning agency of some sort.  You see, regulation and planning are vital.

For those of us unfortunate enough to work in the remaining private sector, no worries.  Government and unions protect us.

Naturally, housing is provided or subsidized.  Commuting, and for that matter, all other travel, is conveniently government-provided.  Food subsidized, healthcare provided.

For news and information, the government subsidizes an absolutely free and objective press, staffed by the very best accredited journalists.  Art, literature, film, thankfully, all subsidized as well.  And, we have government agencies to ensure their quality.

We do not waste money on barbaric military spending, for there are more important social needs.  It is an article of faith here that diplomacy can solve any problem in the world.  Besides, our sovereignty is guaranteed from abroad…somewhere.

And finally, we retire relatively young, enjoy years on government-provided social security, and eventually, die in yet another government-provided healthcare facility.

Yes, we all contribute mightily to our benevolent government.  But in return, our jobs are guaranteed and our needs are met.  And, we are freed from all of our former petty, worldly concerns.

Finally, we are truly free!
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Elizabeth David on Food and Wine

Rereading Elizabeth David's classic 1959 essay, An Omelette and a Glass of Wine:

Although there are those who maintain that wine and egg dishes don't go together I must say I do regard a glass or two of wine as not, obviously, essential but at least as an enormous enhancement of the enjoyment of a well-cooked omelette.

We are not in any case considering the great occasion menu but the almost primitive and elemental meal evoked by the words:  Let's just have an omelette and a glass of wine.

One of the main points about the enjoyment of food and wine seems to me to lie in having what you want when you want it and in the particular combination you fancy.

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Sam Harris on the Reality of Islam

Sam Harris writing on the TruthDig website:

It is time we recognized—and obliged the Muslim world to recognize—that “Muslim extremism” is not extreme among Muslims.  Mainstream Islam itself represents an extremist rejection of intellectual honesty, gender equality, secular politics and genuine pluralism.  The truth about Islam is as politically incorrect as it is terrifying:  Islam is all fringe and no center.  In Islam, we confront a civilization with an arrested history.

The idea that Islam is a “peaceful religion hijacked by extremists” is a dangerous fantasy—and it is now a particularly dangerous fantasy for Muslims to indulge.  It is not at all clear how we should proceed in our dialogue with the Muslim world, but deluding ourselves with euphemisms is not the answer.

Let us now acknowledge the obvious:  there is a direct link between the doctrine of Islam and Muslim violence.  Acknowledging this link remains especially taboo among political liberals.  While liberals are leery of religious fundamentalism in general, they consistently imagine that all religions at their core teach the same thing and teach it equally well.  This is one of the many delusions borne of political correctness.

The world, from the point of view of Islam, is divided into the “House of Islam” and the “House of War,” and this latter designation should indicate how Muslims believe their differences with those who do not share their faith will be ultimately resolved.  While there are undoubtedly some moderate Muslims who have decided to overlook the irrescindable militancy of their religion, Islam is undeniably a religion of conquest.  The only future devout Muslims can envisage—as Muslims—is one in which all infidels have been converted to Islam, politically subjugated, or killed.

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A Notorious Romantic Contradiction

By the essence and nature of existence, contradictions cannot exist.  If you find one, check your premises.  You will find that one of them is wrong.
Ayn Rand, 1957

Let's have a look at two well-known truths which apparently form a contradiction:

• Women like the bad boys
• Women want to partner/marry/have-children-with nice guys

On the face of it, this is clearly a contradiction.  Perhaps some women want one or the other.  But in my experience, many women want both.  Quite the conundrum.

So is it possible to construct a scenario where women can want and have both without the existence of a contradiction?

What if a woman believes that she can change him?  Him being the chosen bad boy.  Well, people do believe all kinds of crazy things.

Or, what if the woman knows she cannot change him, but what she really wants, what she secretly desires, is that he will voluntary give up his bad boy ways - for her.  Then she can have both her bad boy AND a nice partner sans contradiction.  Hey, she might even let him keep his Harley.

Both of these scenarios go a long way towards explaining why otherwise smart women continuously date cads.

Let me tell you a happy/sad story about my friends, Mr. & Mrs. G.  Now, when Mr. G. was a young man, he was a first class bad-ass.  We'll leave it at that, but we all know the type.  He met the future Mrs. G. in school and they dated on-again, off-again through high school and college.  While Mr. G. was a real jerk, future Mrs. G. thought he was just dreamy.  Dangerously dreamy.  Okay, first rule above:  Check.

Today, Mr. & Mrs. G. are in their mid-forties, have been married twenty-plus years, and have two teenage daughters.  Now, here's the thing:  Mr. G. is one of the nicest guys I know.  Second rule above:  Check.

What happened to the jerk?  Well I'll tell you.  He changed.  I know this couple pretty well, and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he changed for her.  And, he's not faking it.  He wanted to make her happy and hold on to her long term.  They will both tell you so.

So what is the point of this story?  That women can have both?  No, absolutely not.  Because Mr. & Mrs. G. are the exceptions.  Sure, they exist (this is a true story) and we might all know similar people, but here's the thing - they are not the rule.  That is why this is a sad story.  Women believe that this is, if not the rule, at least possible.  And that they too can be the exception.  Women over-estimate their ability to have both.

So because women cannot change him and because most-often he will not change for her, we get a lot of sad, sometimes even abusive, relationships.  And to make it worse, many times these same women bring this same mindset to their next relationship and it happens all over again.  Different jerk, same result.  Imagine that.

So my dear women readers (if I have any left), would it not be easier (and better odds) to just start with the nice guys?  Yes, yes, I know:  Too safe, too boring; where's the danger, where's the excitement?

Besides, you are clearly the exception.

Have a nice day.

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